Passionate Desire

I’ve had this blog since May 2001… hard to believe.  It’s been an ever-growing part of me and who I am… what defines me. The name itself is an in depth description of the way I work.  In recent years, I’ve greatly contemplated giving it all up… yet, I feel that if I do, I will be giving up a part of myself… my inner self.  I guess that’s why I keep coming back to this place in front of my computer… WordPress staring back at me and often blank for long periods.  It shouldn’t be hard to write what I feel… however, the words seem to stand in the way as, plain and simple, every post would be a novel.  I spend 8+ hours a day in front of the computer with work… it’s not easy for me to come home and sit in front of one again.  Sadly, while I went to school for web design, I did so online… and that burned me out of sitting here even more.

But again… I continue to come back.

I think you’re all stuck with me.

I’m 95% moved into my new place… and I love it more and more every day when I come up the driveway and see this gorgeous home sitting on top of the hill.  I truly do wish I could eventually purchase it, however, the owner’s have no intention to sell as they inherited it from their father.  Once we’re done painting and cleaning up everything, I will post some pics.  What I love the most is that the house and property itself offers a very rural feel even though we’re only a mile from the main street in town.

A little about the home…

• 1,900 square feet
• 3 bedroom/2 bath
• detached single car garage
• separate carport
• main level is all oak wood floors
• lower level is all tile floors
• gorgeous blue tile fireplace upstairs
• wood-burning stove downstairs
• all woodwork in the house is unfinished oak
• every inch of this home was custom built
• all of the closets are walk-in
• the driveway circles the entire house
• green pasture views facing the sunset
• avocado trees line one side of the house
• built-in fire pit out back
• tiered backyard (three tiers total)
• the house sits on 1/3 acre
• upstairs: kitchen, dining room, living room, master bedroom, master bath
• downstairs: two bedrooms, full bath, laundry/utility room, family room
• the master bedroom is actually the smallest room in the house… but, it’s my favorite
• built in oak bookshelves in the living room
• deck wraps around two sides of the main level

Honestly, I could go on and on… it’s just a beautiful home that needs a few repairs and some TLC.  A couple coats of paint have already made a drastic difference and really warmed & brightened up the rooms.  I definitely plan on staying in this home for a long time.

Craigslist has been my friend throughout all of this.  I’ve found the best deals and have replaced what furniture I left for my husband and then some.  I haven’t paid over $100 for a single item either!!

My roommate is just the best… we’ve been friends for a few years, however, had not seen each other during that time.  Things just fell into place when we ran into one another… and it’s proving to be the best thing that could have happened.  We have become so close and always have a shoulder to lean on as we both go through our respective divorces.  He’s just such a wonderful guy who has quickly become my closest friend right now.  Unfortunately, he won’t be here for maybe more than 6 months as he does want to get back to his kids.  He won’t leave me high and dry though… and will find someone to take over his portion of rent before he leaves.  I trust him completely, so I know he’ll be good on his word.  I have to admit though… he’s grown very attached to my pets… and our friendship is incredibly strong… it will be hard when he does leave.

So, the ONLY setback to the new chapter of my life… the longer commute to work… all back roads… and more traffic.   That part is kicking my ass… I’ve been exhausted all week.

On that note, I’m off to bed!

We got the house… and I move next weekend.  We moved all of his things this weekend and next weekend will be my turn.  So far, I have ONE box packed.  LOL  This all happened so suddenly and with my surgery tomorrow, I’ve been somewhat preoccupied.  Fortunately, I don’t have to be out of here anytime soon, so I can take my time.  As long as I get the few big things I’m taking moved next weekend, I’ll be good.

Hard to believe it’s all actually happening.  It’s exciting, but so scary.

The start of 2010… I would love to say that my year started out fresh, new and better than the last.  However, it did not.  I have no given up hope though… in one week, I found a roommate and a place to live… so, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!

My big move… recently, I ran into an old friend I had not seen in a few years.  After some initial catch-up, I learned that he is also going through a divorce.  We jokingly talked about getting  a place together and soon realized it wasn’t such a bad idea.  So, we decided to seriously look into houses in the area for rent… and found, what we feel, is an amazing & beautiful home that just needs some TLC.  It will likely be a couple more weeks before we move, but we are dead set on this home.

Upcoming procedure… I go in on January 25th for my medical procedure, which I will be totally asleep for.  I will be home that afternoon, however, someone needs to be with me for the 24 hours following the procedure. My girl friend offered to take the day off  to not only take me, but also stay with me that night.  I’m grateful I will have someone to be there with me instead of doing this alone.

The separation… hubby has left for his 5th deployment (not to the Middle East this time) and we have separated all finances, etc.  I will not be here when he returns, however, we will remain in each others lives for a bit due to taxes, vehicles, etc.  All in all, it’s been a very peaceful separation… especially in comparison to those I’ve seen in the past.

I’ve had an issue with my ear for over a month now, and after 2 hours in the Emergency Room last night for it, I’m now on antibiotics and Vicodin.  So, needless to say… I’m about to totally pass out.  LOL  Will update again soon.